Turning the page

this morning, while the dogs ate their breakfast, i sat down at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, a felt-tip pen, and two calendars. it was still dark out, and while riley and boscoe crunch-crunch-crunched their way through their kibble (with healthful additives), i paged through the 2007 calendar, looking for key birthdays and anniversaries to mark on the 2008 calendar.

of course when you do this, you come across all kinds of other things--random appointments and dinner dates and visits from out of town guests--and you end up flipping through the year in fast-motion.

ah, here are my PT appointments with captain blood, last january--those bring back memories of how screwed up my neck was, and how the headache and muscle pain got worse and worse until i literally could no longer turn my head. on the worst day, it took me an hour to get dressed, because i had to keep lying down. the doctor prescribed Vicodin for the pain, and muscle relaxants for sleeping, and set me up with twice-weekly appointments with Captain Blood.

i went to walgreens, turned in the prescription, waited and waited, finally grasped the bag of pills, drove stiffly home, sat down at the very kitchen table where i am now reminiscing with my calendar, popped a vicodin, and waited.

and waited.

and waited.

and found out the hard way that vicodin has absolutely no effect on me. none. not a bit. i didn't feel happy, i didn't feel less pain, i didn't feel woozy, i didn't drool, i didn't fricking anything. i just sat there in exactly as much pain as before. (i have a full bottle left and don't know what to do with them.)

i finally popped a muscle relaxant and went to bed.

ok, that probably wasn't my happiest memory of 2007. but paging through the calendar brought it all back.

oh, and here--here's the date when doug and i went out to dinner with chris and kathy in Uptown. oh man i cannot believe how much we ate.

we wanted to sit in the rooftop garden, but we had to wait for a table. so we sat downstairs and ordered giant frosty beers and big platters of fresh shrimp with cocktail sauce. and an hour later i was absolutely happily stuffed, but then the waiter came along and said our rooftop table was ready, and we couldn't not go, right?

and up we went. and ordered dinner. and more drinks. and red velvet cake for dessert...

oh, and here is the day i had to give the keynote address to the association of university press editors. i was so scared, right up until the moment i got on stage. and then it went great.

and here's the day i spoke to the food writers of america.

and here is the week when erik was visiting from california, to play in a softball tournament--it's always memorial day weekend, and always beastly hot.

and here is our trip to paris! and my trip to montreal! and shawn's wedding, in Sonoma!

flip flip flip through the year.

the 2007 calendar is covered in smudges and marks, and the little hole at the top ripped out long ago and so i have to cut through big swaths of scotch tape that hold it all together. it's almost ready to discard.

but the 2008 calendar .... that is a pristine record of white boxes. empty white boxes, each one representing a day yet to be lived in my life.

all birthdays are now neatly marked now, along with recycling pickup days and the day each month when the dogs get their flea pills.

but oh, all those other blanks squares. what will they hold? stay tuned...