Yikes. Am I turning into my parents? And if so, which one?
Last night I was walking around downstairs, shutting the windows before bedtime, when it occurred to me that it wasn't all that long ago when I rolled my eyes at my parents for doing exactly the same thing.
I was up in Duluth, helping out after one of my dad's surgeries, and it was a hot night. My parents had no fans, no air conditioning, and before bed they instructed me to shut all the windows so that nobody could break in.
Oh, good idea, I thought. Nothing like making the house even stuffier.
It'd be rather arduous for someone to break in--slit a screen, and then hoist themselves several feet off the ground and then sort of shimmy through. And they lived in a perfectly nice neighborhood where that was unlikely to happen. I sighed at their silly worries and shut all the windows, perhaps a bit more forcefully than necessary, to make my point.
And now I do it every night too.
I lay in bed and thought about this strange development, and I wondered in what other ways I am like my weird and quirky parents. And sadly, I thought of several:
--I do not like phone calls after about 9 p.m. I find them alarming. (I remember in my callow youth calling my parents up at any old time, and my father, his voice shaky, telling me that any phone call after 9 p.m. was assumed to be bad news. Huh? I said. But now when the phone rings late, my heart briefly stops.)
--If I am away from the house and I hear a siren, I instantly think it's headed to my house. (Though who would have called 911? Boscoe?)
Is this what getting older means? Constantly catastrophizing? Perhaps only if you come from my particular parents. Maybe if I'd had other parents, I'd be seeing other weird quirks.
Help me out here. Surely I'm not the only one. Do you see signs of your parents coming out in you?
31 Leave a message!:
Yes. If I am not 15 to 30 minutes early to appointments, even meeting friends for coffee, then I am late.
I leave all the windows open in summer, and I haven't locked the back door for 6 years, even if I'm not here.
As for the phone calls, anything after 9pm is one of two things, very bad manners or very bad news.
It so true, I'm turning into my parents, but I mostly don't mind (I just don't want to look like my dad, considering I'm a girl!)
Like my dad, I always run late, always about 5 minutes.
I lock doors when I go to bed, but I don't lock them when I'm here and I always leave my upstairs bedroom window opened.
People can still phone me before 10, but seldom do.
Oh yeah, I'm turning into my dad; constantly fascinated with weather details and maps.
Last week I found preparing a meal made entirely of little pots of leftovers - my mother's particular talent and one I swore I'd never develop.
No window shutting here; I rarely open them. It's Oklahoma, after all. The temperature outside is rarely nice. Those post-9pm phone calls? I've been against them since I was old enough to want to go to bed at 10:30pm.
If lovely daughter, who is 18, hears a siren and she's anywhere near home, she calls to be sure we're all okay. Odd.
I am like my father in many ways, but they've all been evident since childhood. If I ever tell you I'm behaving like my mother, please come over and shoot me.
Yep it is happening. I have completely white hair and look just like my mom. Been looking like her for a long time. I have been completely gray haired for 20 years. You are right if it isn't one thing, it will be something else. But look at all the good things you got from them. Blessings
QMM
Yes. I'm my mother. Since I let my hair go naturally gray, I scare myself when I walk past mirrors and see her face looking back at me. It's startling.
I have to lock down the house at night to prevent thieves from getting inside. When Duke was alive, I never worried about that. I don't mind late night phone calls, but late is a relative thing since I work nights. I think calls after midnight would worry me.
My dad was always very into self-sufficiency and making things like bookcases, cupboards and a series of about 5 kennels for our one dog even though carpentry isn't an especially strong point of his. He also sunk a pit in the garage thinking he was going to do all his own car repairs but never got further than learning how to change the oil.
When I bought my Vespa I also bought the workshop manual and spent hours poring over exploded diagrams of carburettors and gearboxes though luckily I never had the courage to actually dismantle the thing (I bought a very nice set of tools too in my enthusiasm). Since we've been house-hunting I've already planned how I could develop some sort of a structure to keep a mosquito net up on the balcony of one flat we saw and I've also been planning on copying a rather funky (and horrifically expensive) chair/bookcase I saw in an interiors magazine despite only having the fuzziest memory of what a dovetail joint actually is after four years of woodwork in school.
So yes, I do fear I'm becoming my father.
I will not, cannot, must not turn into to either of my parents. But hang on, small things are creeping in, like worrying about being 'dressed for the weather'. Will I be too hot/too cold? Should I take an extra jumper? What about a brolly? And so on...
A mix of both in my case. And on Caro's comment - me too! I saw that bookcase and chair and so think I can make it. Ha!
for instance my inner Jimmy (my dad) comes out when I'm not getting good service, too slow, too antagonistic, whatever. I just walk away and leave the full cart or stuff or meal behind. I just hate it when I do that, but it's like he's controlling all my gears.
But Laurie, there's good stuff too and I truly embrace that.
XO
WWW
I'm like my mother in that I always think I know everything and that I'm always right and that I have all the answers and that people should listen to me. I lock all the doors and turn off all the lights, but leave some windows open on a safety latch, so nobody can get in. I'm kind and considerate like my father was. I'm never late and don't like to be called after 10 pm. That's a big NoNo.
You mean besides my big butt and fussy heart?
I'm starting to care a little less if my dishes are perfectly clean. (Mom)
I swear like a sailor and my fuse seems to be getting shorter, (Dad) although a friend of mine attributes that to my diminishing estrogen. Think how bad it will get when menopause hits full steam.
Laurie,
are you and I sisters? I do the exact same things! I sound like my mom and look like my dad, right down to the bags under my eyes, scary....its now on to the 3rd generation, my daughter sounds like me and has the set of bags.
oh yes, Laurie, I sure do!
I had two quirky and unique parents, both are gone now, but oh do they live on in me and my sister.
Like my mom, I am intimidated by electrical things and have a love/hate relationship with technology. Mom quote: "I don't trust that outlet!"
Like my dad, my sister gets all worked up at times and feels that the world is conspiring against her. Dad quote: "They're trying to make me nuts!" (usually about something minor, like a hotel room key not working).
Like my mom, I love to cuddle my kids and my loved ones, rumple their hair, tell them I love them multiple times every day, cry at the sound of someone singing a cappella, and love a good hard rain.
Like my dad, I adore little details about hometown history. When returning to Vermont this summer with my son, I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from telling a story about every single corner of our hometown.
Those ways, and more!
Thanks for making me think about this one!
Brina
patty, it's entirely possible that we are sisters! my family is known for droopy eyes with deep dark eyebags, too.
caro, i am very impressed that you would even entertain the possibility of doing such things as taking apart your vespa, and building furniture. you don't even have to do more than that. just considering it is enough.
No, no. I have escaped every alarming trait of my parents. I have inherited only the good genes - my siblings got all the bad ones. It's true, I swear it.
Oh, and I own the Brooklyn Bridge, which I'm willing to sell for the right price.
Nothing scarier than the moment when you put your arm into a sleeve and your mother's hand comes out.
My Mother: Preoccupied with the weather, inability to toss leftovers that are edible,lock up house at night.
My Dad: Just don't want to talk sometimes and am short with people.
Love good Western movies.
And lots and lots of good things, too.
Stella's Mom
Yes the older I get (51 now), the more like my mother I become. Oh lordy!!!
I absolutely hate being late and almost never am. That's both my parents, actually.
I don't like throwing leftovers away. Guess that's my Mom. She had no choice I think, two kids, one income and a newly built house, there wasn't much money to play with, so she was quite inventive.
I do lock the doors at night but don't think that's a particular quirk of my parents.
My mother drove me mad as a teenager by coming into a room and, if the TV was on and you weren't actually staring at it full on, switching it off with a "You weren't watching that, were you?" I found myself just about to turn a radio off the other day in precisely the same way, even though I knew Ian was half listening to it. I just stopped myself.
Mostly though I am turning into my mum and she is lovely so that is fine by me!
I methodically close and lock up the house every night before I go to bed, regardless of the weather. Just don't want a rude awakening. We live in a nice neighborhood too.
I have given my family strict instructions to put me out of my misery and theirs if I should turn into my mother.
Oh yes. Sounds very familiar. I go round bolting doors, shutting windows, unplugging electrical equipment. I guess as we mature (I won't say get older) we see the dangers in things we didn't see as callow youths!
Great post, Laurie, and brilliant comments!
My father would have guffawed at Eulalia's comment - just as I did!
Hmmm I think I'm turning into your parents too - I totally identify :-)
No,Laurie your not alone in this.As I get older I seem to do a lot of things similar to my father and did I hate him for doing those
That's so cute! I can't think of many ways I'm like my folks--except for my penchant to putter--that's my dad coming through!
Every time I look in the mirror!
I noticed one day that my mother's hands were driving my car.
Oh god yes. When I was little, my parents (mom and grandfather specially) were always complaining that I should wear warmer clothes, they were terrified that I would catch a cold... I really hated that. well guess what. I`m CONSTANTLY bossing my aunt`s kids around, telling them to put more clothes on, I shudder in horror every time one of them is barefoot.... I`m thinking that I should never have kids:)
Terrible isn`t it?
Post a Comment