The underachiever
Remember the searing and eloquent Nigerian spam we used to get? Tales of death and murder and millions of dollars locked in secret bank accounts, sent to us by desperate widows who needed our help? Even as you knew the stories weren't true, you were intrigued--where did the money come from? Why was it unavailable to them? How did their wonderful doctor husbands die?
There was a whole world in those emails, and last year a wonderful novel was spun about the people who write them. "I Do Not Come to You By Chance" by Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani was one of the best books I read last year.
But lately the Nigerians seem to have gone on to other pursuits, or maybe they're spamming other targets. In any case, I have not gotten one of those messages in a while. And then, this morning, I got this:
Good Day,
I am Shung Hin Hui, I have a business of $15.5 million for you contact me for details.
That's it? No narrative? No tragedy? No emotional hook? You can just picture the writer, dressed in Dockers, sitting in a room full of computers, typing nonchalantly, snapping his gum, tossing his Coke can into the garbage and then going out for a long lunch.
Some people certainly answered the Nigerian messages, and got taken for varying amounts of money. Who in the world would answer this one? I fear this writer is not long for his job.
21 comments:
Maybe they accidentally pressed 'send' before they were finished writing? Certainly looks unfinished to me.
I've got to check out this book...
(I only get advertising for blue pills and similar stuff into my inbox. Pity.)
That was one of my best reads last year too. I think I read it on your recommendation. Loved it. Gave out some copies for Christmas.
Lately all I get for spam (which I see once a day from Spam Blocker) is Russian women who would make wonderful and loving wives to American men. I can imagine that this would be a fairly expensive business and wonder how many men might be taken by it.
I will look for the book!
Cheers,
Jo in MN
Will have to find that book - sounds very interesting! But definitely an odd new twist on the Nigerian original!
Hugs xo
Sammie
I still get these all the time. Daily. I've probably gotten a dozen already this morning between my two email addys. The problem for me is that my email addresses are dog rescue related, so they are posted all over the net and easy for spammers to find. Bummer.
I'm just careful to never click on anything from anybody I dont know! Lol!
This book looks interesting!!!
Em
yes,Laurie but does he/she/it care?
Is it not more important to be cool?
To be"top of the world", considering others as witless worms?
Assured that greed will do the trick-no need to woo?
What is the world coming to if even those ganovim de-skill?
Oh and I'm going to enjoy that book
What is even more tragic (and intriguing) is the people who make these endeavors profitable. I mean, we get spam because SOMEONE clicks through to buy--penile enhancers, Russian brides, businesses in Hong Kong...imagine!
a friend writes that he gets more interesting email spam than i do. here's his latest:
Hello dear friend,
How are you? i hope all is well with you, i hope you may not know me, and i don't know who you are, My Name is Edith, i am just broswing now i just saw your profile it seams like some thing touches me all over my body, i started having some feelings in me which i have never experience in me before, so i became interested in you, l will also like to know you the more,and l want you to send an email to my email address so l can give you my picture for you to know whom l am.
I believe we can move from here!
I am waiting for your mail to my email address
(Remeber the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alot in life)
Yours lovely girl
Miss. Edith Kimudi
PLEASE REPLY ME BACK WITH MY EMAIL
I sometimes receive random emails from girls (who are under the impression I'm a man). In case any chancer is reading this - I automatically delete emails from anyone I don't know. (And I'm not looking for a wife...)
The Nigerian letters were rather good weren't they? I actually knew someone who thought about responding to one. Really.
Sounds like an interesting novel.
My spam is boring. BORING. "Love pills pack 80% discount" was the subject of my last lovely spam message.
I remember you talking about this book before. I think I should buy it before I forget I want to read it (again).
Oh, the Nigerians didn't completely move on. I still get long emails every day. Probably about 12 per day I would say. I wish they would go away and try something else. But don't you just want to write back and toy with them?
I love Miss. Edith Kimudi!
Wait! You mean someone doesn't really want to hire me to get the 3.3 billion dollar settlement they are owed from their husband?! Damned.
My favourites are the ones who love me in Jesus Christ.
I agree not enough Nigerians these days but my Russian girls are very encouraging and long winded.
thanks for the book rec. I've added it to the enormous list...
How many books did you read last year, Laurie? I thought I did well but it was dismal compared to others.
XO
WWW
momma won a trillion billion dollars if she would send $100.
BOL
Benny & Lily
Certainly lacks imagination. Maybe it was just an off day.
ooohhh a book tip - I am facing 4 months travelling all on my own - I imagine I will read an astonishing amount - that part at least I am really looking forward to.
I still get African emails promising me lots of money. I also get love emails from women who have seen my profile somewhere. Never mind that I'm a woman myself. I don't get many sexually related emails, thank goodness. Not even for Viagra. That book sounds interesting.
I am reading this book at the moment. I think its a God account of the nasty things these image spoliers do to our Nigerian character. However, I also hope that books such as these will be an eye opener to people in the West who have been victims of the these crooks. The book also reminds me of a notable quote by King Abdullah of Jordan, "for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing" Lets all say no to nasty fraudulent things like these. Groeten, B
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