The rules of puppyhood

1. Anything that's on the floor is mine to chew.

2. That includes electrical cords, rugs, and other things that are extremely inconvenient for my jailers to move.

3. The resident dog must make himself available to play with me at all times. I finally got him to go into the play bow with me this morning, my third day here. It's clear he's going to require a lot of training. I must be patient.

3a. I am not patient!

4. The jailers must never be allowed to sleep more than three or four hours at a stretch. They get too well-rested and it's hard to control them.

5. Even though they try to distract me with fleece toys, rope pulls, and tennis balls, the best things for chewing are whatever clothes they happen to be wearing. This includes the short fuzzy one's favorite lilac fleece top and the tall-tall one's nice orange pullover. Orange is such an appealing color.

5a. This also includes the resident dog's tail. Also, my own tail.

6. The leash is OK. It keeps my jailers from wandering off. But every now and then it, too, needs to be chewed, just to keep it in line.

7. The car is great! Especially when you get to ride inside a cardboard box. I did that yesterday again and fell straight to sleep.

8. Food is good.  So is the yard.  Though it's kind of amusing the way my jailers think the fence will keep me inside. I can go underneath it, or through the pickets, any time I want. And I have. And I will.

9. Tabletops are for jumping onto. I just need to get a little bit taller.

10. I have no name and live by no rules, despite what the jailers might lead you to believe.